Monday, August 8, 2011

* How Not to Look Like a Facebook Douche *

I'm not sure if guys know this but your facebook page tells us more than you probably think it does. And most likely not in the best way.

 Oh yes this is happening.
Here we go.

Let's start with photos:

1. Too many profile pictures: If you currently have over 50 profile pictures, stop. Just .. stop now. Delete like 30 of them and keep the ones you really want to share. NO one needs that many profile shots of themselves. Put them in a separate photo album titled, LIFE or something..

  • What the ladies are thinking: Either a) the man has ADD and has to change his photo at least once a day or b) he loves himself waay too much and needs the world to know he's awesome and doing awesome things 

    2. Photos with the ladies: Yes we get you are quite the stud muffin. The ladies like you. Can we get an applause for the man? One or two photos with your good friends who are girls is perfectly fine. But if there are photos after photos of you with several different groups of women then...

    • We're thinking: He's a player or trying very very hard to seem like one. He's not to be taken seriously. And .. ew

    3. Photos with an ex: Ahh yes the uncomfortable situation where you and your ex gf have parted ways and you're not sure if you should take down those 10 various smiley happy couple photos. Well if you don't...

    • We're thinking: He's still in love with her. He's not ready to move on. Unavailable.

      4. Drunkity drunk photos: No. Just ... no. Trust me. Take it off. I mean, a photo of you holding a beer and cheering with friends is different. But if it's just pure gross.. ness... it's seriously not pleasant for anyone to look at, least of all take you seriously in any manner. This also includes photos of you holding a joint/bong or anything else that only you think is hilarious.


      5. Self taken photos: Man oh man. Don't get me started. I literally shudder when I see guys who do this. And it's never just that one photo. It's several! At many different angles.. in front of a mirror.. a bathroom mirror.. most of the time shirtless! UGHH why??

      • We're thinking: He's WAAY too into himself. He thinks he's better looking than he actually is. And even if you are handsome, no one likes a Orpheus. 

      Ok I'm going to stop here and resume at a later post. I feel there's only so much lecturing people can take in one entry.

      Really though, you don't have to listen to a word I say. 
      But just be prepared for the ladies to see you like this:

      a douche.

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