Alright challenge accepted jerks.
Ladies: 6 words.
He's just not that into you.
Those words changed my entire approach to dating. I read the book long before the movie came out and watched that episode in SATC which enlightened women everywhere.
As a prelude, watch this first (I would have embedded but it's been disabled):
Let me just help you relieve hours of wasted torture you may put upon yourself because he's not playing by the rules of courtship or .. why he's not playing at all. Don't over think things. Don't give or take made up excuses.
Just remember this:
If a man truly wants to be with you, he will find a way.
It's really that simple.
No obstacle will be too great for him to reach you. He will find a way to get your number. He will find a way to get that date with you. He will find a way to spend time with you. He will find a way to keep you.
If he hasn't done any of those things, then take it for what it is: he wasn't into you enough to go the extra mile. And really at the end of the day, isn't that the kind of man you want to be with? The guy who saw that there was something so special about you that if he didn't do something about it, he knew some other guy would. And his chance could be lost forever.
So here it is ladies. Here's my grand lecture to you in the post:
DON'T LOWER YOUR STANDARDS.
Don't just take what you can get. Because you know what happens? We get sucked further into this black irreversible cycle of bad male behavior.
I believe there was that handful of bad guys who started treating women with less and less respect. Those women accepted that fact and stayed because their self confidence were shot. Nice gentlemen started to wonder wtf! Why do these jerks who don't care or try get the girl? So the nice guys start to change their behavior because their mentality now is that you have to be a douche in order for women to want you. And thus the disease has spawned and spread to its current incurable status.
And now we are left with a world of men
who do the bare minimum to get what they want.
Well that stops now. If you truly believe you deserve someone who will love you the way YOU want, you won't settle for anything less. Trust me. It's not about being high maintenance or snobby. It's understanding and knowing your self worth.
If a man wants to date you, he better get his act together.
Simple as that.
Simple as that.
To help make things a bit more obvious, here are some signs that the guy is just not that into you:
- talks to and treats you like a friend: getting advice from you on how to get with other girls
- doesn't call/text/email you
- doesn't try to make plans to see you
- doesn't go out of his way to try to see you, especially to events that are important to you (birthdays, dinners, celebratory parties...etc)
*For more examples, buy the book.
Let me just end it with this visual gif of Justin Long.
Because if his emphasized hand motions can't get through to you,
then I don't know what will.