Tuesday, August 30, 2011

* Beauty of Music *

Joo is one of my favorite Korean artists.
I have no idea what she's saying, but I can feel every word... every emotion.
That's the beauty of music no?
Transcends all spoken languages <3

This next one breaks my heart.
I just want to... hug and hold her.

bad guys ...
tsk tsk

Thursday, August 25, 2011

* The Truth About Bad Boys *

Ladies.. IT'S ALL A HYPE

Bad Boys:
They're not exciting
They're not unpredictable
They're not "cool"

Oh.. and here's the most important part: 

What they are pros at is being jerks.
They won't play nicely.
They won't ever love you like you hope they will, no matter how much time you dedicate to them.
And they're probably the most selfish human beings on the planet.

They will take and take and take from you until you're empty. And even then, they're still not satisfied. Because at the end of the day, they don't really care about you or what you want. It's been all about them from the start.

 they deserve that.

I know what you're thinking.
Oh but he's different. You don't know him like I do.
OH GIRL.. I do. Trust me I do. 
I've dated a couple and the results were all pretty much the same. 

All that excitement is a facade. What you initially thought was "rebel without a cause" really just turned out to be childish and immaturity. It gets old very fast.

The unpredictability isn't because he's spontaneous and unconventional.  The truth? He just wants to do whatever he wants when he wants. How are you supposed to know?

And him being cool? He's really just an insecure and troubled person who has to put up a front as a defense mechanism.

It's all a lie. 
A lie that is perpetuated by the movies which seems to glorify these a-holes who are all magically transformed by the sweet innocent girl.
Nope. Liiieeees.

I mean ... come on. They call them bad for a reason.

p.s. It's not real change if they're changing for you. You can't save them. Only they can do that for themselves.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

* What Do Women Want? *

What Do Women Want??

Ohh I get asked that question by my friends alllll the time.

Here's my two cents...

Women just want to feel special. Special as in she is the only woman you love and cherish. And if she truly is, your actions would reflect that.

Say you finally got that game/car/electronic item you've always wanted and it was the ONLY one that exists in the world... how would you care for it? Different guys would do different things. One might keep it enclosed in a case to admire forever. Another might clean it every day. And perhaps some one will be bold enough to play with it.

Same goes for treating a lady. Some ladies like a guy who is very considerate and shows his affection often. While others prefer a man who's a "manly man" and makes "manly" decisions for his woman.

Who knows? All that's important is when you (the guy) finally find that lady you've been waiting for all your life... don't be afraid to be you (*from the beginning! So she knows what she's getting into*) If you're weird, be weird. If you're smooth, be smooth. If you're a nerd, be a nerd. (*Secret: That will probably be the best thing she loves about you at the end of the day*)

Just.. never let her forget, she's special TO YOU. 
Don't romance her with the cookie cutter dates or cliche acts.
Be unique and true to you.

Yes it will require more work and thought on your end.
Don't be lazy!
Because after all, she's one in a million.

 p.s. if you don't feel that way about her,
then she's probably not that special (to you) to begin with.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

* LADIES: This one's for you... He's Just Not That Into You *

Every time I post something that "schools" the fellas, without a doubt I receive a backlash from my male friends on how I'm such a hater and that I should be fair and write something that "lectures" the ladies.

Alright challenge accepted jerks.

Ladies: 6 words.


He's just not that into you.
Those words changed my entire approach to dating. I read the book long before the movie came out and watched that episode in SATC which enlightened women everywhere.

As a prelude, watch this first (I would have embedded but it's been disabled):

Let me just help you relieve hours of wasted torture you may put upon yourself because he's not playing by the rules of courtship or .. why he's not playing at all. Don't over think things. Don't give or take made up excuses.

Just remember this:
If a man truly wants to be with you, he will find a way. 
No excuses. 
No exceptions. 
It's really that simple.

No obstacle will be too great for him to reach you. He will find a way to get your number. He will find a way to get that date with you. He will find a way to spend time with you. He will find a way to keep you.

If he hasn't done any of those things, then take it for what it is: he wasn't into you enough to go the extra mile. And really at the end of the day, isn't that the kind of man you want to be with? The guy who saw that there was something so special about you that if he didn't do something about it, he knew some other guy would. And his chance could be lost forever.

So here it is ladies. Here's my grand lecture to you in the post:
Don't just take what you can get. Because you know what happens? We get sucked further into this black irreversible cycle of bad male behavior.

My Theory:
I believe there was that handful of bad guys who started treating women with less and less respect. Those women accepted that fact and stayed because their self confidence were shot. Nice gentlemen started to wonder wtf! Why do these jerks who don't care or try get the girl? So the nice guys start to change their behavior because their mentality now is that you have to be a douche in order for women to want you. And thus the disease has spawned and spread to its current incurable status. 

And now we are left with a world of men 
who do the bare minimum to get what they want.
Well that stops now. If you truly believe you deserve someone who will love you the way YOU want, you won't settle for anything less. Trust me. It's not about being high maintenance or snobby. It's understanding and knowing your self worth.

If a man wants to date you, he better get his act together. 
Simple as that.

To help make things a bit more obvious, here are some signs that the guy is just not that into you:
- talks to and treats you like a friend: getting advice from you on how to get with other girls
- doesn't call/text/email you
- doesn't try to make plans to see you
- doesn't go out of his way to try to see you, especially to events that are important to you (birthdays, dinners, celebratory parties...etc)

*For more examples, buy the book.

Let me just end it with this visual gif of Justin Long.
Because if his emphasized hand motions can't get through to you,
then I don't know what will.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

* We're All In The Dance *

... a feeling came over me.
It was like remembering something I'd never known before 
or had always been waiting for, but I didn't know what. 
Maybe it was something I'd forgotten or something I've been missing all my life. 
All I can say is that I felt, at the same time, joy and sadness. 
But not too much sadness, because I felt alive.

Yes, alive. That was the moment I fell in love with Paris. 
And I felt Paris fall in love with me.
- Carol "14e Arrondissement"
Paris Je T'Aime

* Persist *

For more interesting letters from interesting people:

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

* Have Courage *

I just had a 3 hour conversation with a sweetheart friend last night.
I'm extremely proud of her yet ... yet my heart .. my entire heart goes out to her and what she's still going through in her relationship.

Sigh.. boys. Y U act stupid

* Have the courage to believe that one day, 
you'll have a true love story to call your own *

* Quote of the Day *

Quote of the Day:

"What man needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him."

- Victor Frankl

Monday, August 8, 2011

* How Not to Look Like a Facebook Douche *

I'm not sure if guys know this but your facebook page tells us more than you probably think it does. And most likely not in the best way.

 Oh yes this is happening.
Here we go.

Let's start with photos:

1. Too many profile pictures: If you currently have over 50 profile pictures, stop. Just .. stop now. Delete like 30 of them and keep the ones you really want to share. NO one needs that many profile shots of themselves. Put them in a separate photo album titled, LIFE or something..

  • What the ladies are thinking: Either a) the man has ADD and has to change his photo at least once a day or b) he loves himself waay too much and needs the world to know he's awesome and doing awesome things 

    2. Photos with the ladies: Yes we get you are quite the stud muffin. The ladies like you. Can we get an applause for the man? One or two photos with your good friends who are girls is perfectly fine. But if there are photos after photos of you with several different groups of women then...

    • We're thinking: He's a player or trying very very hard to seem like one. He's not to be taken seriously. And .. ew

    3. Photos with an ex: Ahh yes the uncomfortable situation where you and your ex gf have parted ways and you're not sure if you should take down those 10 various smiley happy couple photos. Well if you don't...

    • We're thinking: He's still in love with her. He's not ready to move on. Unavailable.

      4. Drunkity drunk photos: No. Just ... no. Trust me. Take it off. I mean, a photo of you holding a beer and cheering with friends is different. But if it's just pure gross.. ness... it's seriously not pleasant for anyone to look at, least of all take you seriously in any manner. This also includes photos of you holding a joint/bong or anything else that only you think is hilarious.


      5. Self taken photos: Man oh man. Don't get me started. I literally shudder when I see guys who do this. And it's never just that one photo. It's several! At many different angles.. in front of a mirror.. a bathroom mirror.. most of the time shirtless! UGHH why??

      • We're thinking: He's WAAY too into himself. He thinks he's better looking than he actually is. And even if you are handsome, no one likes a Orpheus. 

      Ok I'm going to stop here and resume at a later post. I feel there's only so much lecturing people can take in one entry.

      Really though, you don't have to listen to a word I say. 
      But just be prepared for the ladies to see you like this:

      a douche.

      Thursday, August 4, 2011

      * A Secret *

      I want to share a secret with you. A secret of my secret secret dream. 

      One day I'd like to open a place that will provide care and counsel to girls + women who need or want dating advice. Somewhere they can go and have someone listen to their stories and romance woes. Woes of boys who have broken their heart. Woes of men who were selfish and unkind. Stories of always being the girl overlooked because she's shy. Stories of boyfriends who don't understand a woman's needs. Stories only another woman can fully comprehend because we were all there at one point of our lives.

      I want to be that person to hug each and every one of them and tell them, you are better than that. YOU are worthy of love. The best kind of love. Because you deserve it. I want to dry their tears and tell them to hold on. He's out there. Just be patient. And in the meantime, learn to truly love yourself first. Love yourself without a man in your life. Be your own person before you can be someone's girlfriend/wife. Don't let a man define your worth, attractiveness or identity.

      And turn all the pain that came from him into fuel that will burn and refine you to being the strong, vibrant woman you were destined to be... who you always were deep down inside.

      Be patient.
      Don't settle. No excuses.
      YOU are one of a kind.

      One day soon...

      A poem from me to you:

      "After a While" by Veronica A. Shoffstall

      After a while you learn
      the subtle difference between
      holding a hand and chaining a soul
      and you learn
      that love doesn't mean leaning
      and company doesn't mean security.
      And you begin to learn
      that kisses aren't contracts
      and presents aren't promises
      and you begin to accept your defeats
      with your head up and your eyes ahead
      with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
      and you learn to build all your roads on today
      because tomorrow's ground is
      too uncertain for plans
      and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
      After a while you learn
      that even sunshine burns
      if you get too much
      so you plant your own garden
      and decorate your own soul
      instead of waiting for someone
      to bring you flowers.
      And you learn that you really can endure
      you really are strong
      you really do have worth
      and you learn

      and you learn
      with every goodbye, you learn...

      * The Power of ISA *

      There are some moments so significant and indescribable that only the people who were there understand without even speaking a word what that moment meant. It becomes more than the people, the energy, the place... it's knowing what's happening now was meant to happen exactly the way it happened. And because of that, things are going to change in the most amazing and drastic way. And because of THAT, your heart is about explode from the overwhelming sensation of it all.

      I mean, if that didn't describe ISA Seattle then I don't know what else to say to convey what this trip meant to me. This is exactly why I make it a point to physically witness these type of events. Because there's nothing that gives me chilly willy goosebumps like being in the midst of .. history in the making.

      Seattle was my 4th ISA. I strongly strongly urge those of you who have never attended to GO! There's nothing else out there like ISA right now for our community. You know, scratch that. We won't even go into "oh this an Asian thing." That would be diminishing what ISA is from a bigger picture standpoint. These are people who have worked tirelessly to get to where they are now and are showcasing all their talents, dreams and amazing amazing positive personas to their devoted fans who love them for being them. It's about giving the next generation HOPE. Hope that one day that could be them. Hope that though they may feel alone now and that no one understands them, someone on youtube is trying to tell their stories through .. a song, a short film, a comedy sketch. That the very people on stage are just like them. That these same people are telling the kids, you matter. YOUR STORY matters. Because at the end of the day... it's my story too.

      And that to me my friends, is the power of ISA.

      For more info: www.isatv.com