And trust me girl, I've been burying a lot of feelings deeeeeep down. Locked down for another day... another time. But I will be the first to tell you that's super unhealthy. And I'm someone who will go into robot mode when times get tough. Just to get by. Do what I gotta do that day and move on. But what I'm really doing is shutting down. Shutting down on feeling anything and trying to hold everything together on the outside. "To be strong."
But I'm hurting all over. I hate sitting here sounding like a crybaby about my current situation. I know I'm not dealing with even an ounce of what a lot of other people are going through in their lives. To be honest, reminding myself of that keeps me real on my perspective. But what I've learned throughout the years is that even so, I still have to deal with my own stuff in order to be better for myself. If I keep holding on to bitterness, anger, resentment, negativity.. it's only going to hurt myself and people I love. I'm never able to go 110% Christine. And I wasn't built but to give only 110% in what I love and believe in.
Even though I've lived, learned, grown.. I'm still doing it because life never gets easier. I'm not saying life can't be a dream come true, but lessons come from every direction. That's just what's gotta happen for you to get to where you're meant to go. And take on bigger and heavier battles.
People change and evolve. Whether for the better or worse, it's up to you. You can choose to be the hero or become a villain. I want to be the hero in my story. Standing up and taking a hard stand for what I know is true within whether it sounds "nice" or not. I'm a truth teller. And this may be getting personal, but I no longer will stay quiet and nice on the side. Time to keep it real and speak my truth. Because that's how this girl was built.
That I do know moving forward.
No one puts Baby in the corner